My darling children ,
Why are you so afraid of the number 7. It is the only reason your exhausted father and I can come up with. None of you seem to be able to sleep until seven. Do you think you will miss something if you sleep past 7? I assure you, there is NOTHING going on that you are missing. Scooby Doo does not come on, there is still Classical Stretch on PBS. There is no one outside to play with (they are all still sleeping) Don't fear 7, it is a beautiful number. There are many wonderful things in seven's: Seven Brides for Seven Brother's, 7 day's in a week, 7 wonders of the world, 7 day's of Passover, OK that may be a little much but you get my point.
So sleep, sleep till 7 just once, don't worry, I have slept past 7 many many times before you were born and nothing happened but sweet blissful rest. The best part of sleeping until 7, it may hold the men in the white coats off from taking me away for just a little longer. If you all sleep until 7 on the same day, it just may bring about world peace. You never know!!
Love Mommy
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
A list of reminders
Darling Children,
A few reminders:
1. Please lift BOTH seats when you need to pee (boy's only)
2. Please face forward the ENTIRE time you pee including the shakedown (again boy's)
3. The lid does not have to be slammed in order for it to close
4. I am not a waitress, maid, short order cook or royal butt wiper
5. I am not a tree for climbing (girl)
6. I am not your main mode of transportation around your kingdom (Princess Carrymealot)
7. Yes, I am 38 and yes I can read and yes if you speak to me like that again 7 is a far off dream for you
8. Go ask your Father
9. Whining will get you nothing but a swift kick in the butt and a one way ticket to your room
10. Yes that's what's for dinner and no, I don't care if you starve, hate it or will throw up if you eat it
and the most important reminder of all, someday when you are grown and I am living someplace warm, drinking cocktails and you call me because your child, pee's on the floor, won't eat dinner, wants to be carried all the time or won't let you pee with the door shut, I will say "yes dear, I have Mahjong with the ladies call you later"
I love you,
Mommy
A few reminders:
1. Please lift BOTH seats when you need to pee (boy's only)
2. Please face forward the ENTIRE time you pee including the shakedown (again boy's)
3. The lid does not have to be slammed in order for it to close
4. I am not a waitress, maid, short order cook or royal butt wiper
5. I am not a tree for climbing (girl)
6. I am not your main mode of transportation around your kingdom (Princess Carrymealot)
7. Yes, I am 38 and yes I can read and yes if you speak to me like that again 7 is a far off dream for you
8. Go ask your Father
9. Whining will get you nothing but a swift kick in the butt and a one way ticket to your room
10. Yes that's what's for dinner and no, I don't care if you starve, hate it or will throw up if you eat it
and the most important reminder of all, someday when you are grown and I am living someplace warm, drinking cocktails and you call me because your child, pee's on the floor, won't eat dinner, wants to be carried all the time or won't let you pee with the door shut, I will say "yes dear, I have Mahjong with the ladies call you later"
I love you,
Mommy
Friday, August 14, 2009
If you give a mom a vacation
An homage to our favorite series If You Give a Mouse a Cookie
If you give a mom a vacation she may pack a bag (quickly). When she packs her bag she may see worried looks on the faces of her children (how will we eat, will we have clean clothes). When she sees worried looks she may pack faster and assure them their father will take good care if them.
When mom arrives at her destination (some place warm with adult drinks and no kids) she may receive a text from her husband. If she receives a text she may have visions. If she has visions they may include dishes piled up, laundry falling out of the laundry room, children in the same pajama's she left them in.
Then she will begin to pack to go home. If she packs to go home, the stress level may begin to rise. If the stress begins to rise, mom may become cranky (again). If mom becomes cranky (again), dad may suggest a few day's away by herself to recoup. If she takes a few day's away to recoup....well you know what will happen.
If you give a mom a vacation she may pack a bag (quickly). When she packs her bag she may see worried looks on the faces of her children (how will we eat, will we have clean clothes). When she sees worried looks she may pack faster and assure them their father will take good care if them.
When mom arrives at her destination (some place warm with adult drinks and no kids) she may receive a text from her husband. If she receives a text she may have visions. If she has visions they may include dishes piled up, laundry falling out of the laundry room, children in the same pajama's she left them in.
Then she will begin to pack to go home. If she packs to go home, the stress level may begin to rise. If the stress begins to rise, mom may become cranky (again). If mom becomes cranky (again), dad may suggest a few day's away by herself to recoup. If she takes a few day's away to recoup....well you know what will happen.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Really Will I Ever Learn?????
After 3 children you would think I would learn. But no, today I hear my sweet baby M wake up from her nap. Playing, singing and hanging out in her bed. Then I hear the cry, the loud cry. I go into her room and there is baby M pointing at her hand. pooh, pooh, pooh. It is covered in poop. Yes, I put a child down for a nap in a diaper, just a diaper. It was not just her hand, her legs, the crib, 2 big lumps of poop and the crib covered in poop. Her sheet is soaking wet.
Leading me to wonder how long she has been like this. So 30 minutes before I have to pick my oldest up from camp, I now have to wipe up the baby (no time for a bath) clean up the poop, start laundry, get #2 up from his nap, pack a snack (for the love of ___ if I picked up from camp without a snack) and get to pickup.
I know better, this happened with another one of my children. I am suffering from mommy amnesia. I think we all have it. There are actually studies that show the brain cells lost during pregnancy are never recovered. That is really the main reason we are not having anymore kids. My husband is worried he will be married to a vegetable if we do. Then what would happen? Who would do the laundry, make all the appointments, clean, cook, shop, wipe boo boo's, take out the trash, make beds.....hmmm wait a minute, another baby is not such a bad idea.
Leading me to wonder how long she has been like this. So 30 minutes before I have to pick my oldest up from camp, I now have to wipe up the baby (no time for a bath) clean up the poop, start laundry, get #2 up from his nap, pack a snack (for the love of ___ if I picked up from camp without a snack) and get to pickup.
I know better, this happened with another one of my children. I am suffering from mommy amnesia. I think we all have it. There are actually studies that show the brain cells lost during pregnancy are never recovered. That is really the main reason we are not having anymore kids. My husband is worried he will be married to a vegetable if we do. Then what would happen? Who would do the laundry, make all the appointments, clean, cook, shop, wipe boo boo's, take out the trash, make beds.....hmmm wait a minute, another baby is not such a bad idea.
No, this is not a Democracy
Dear B,
I am so glad that you have finally lost a tooth. I am not sure how many more weeks I could take of the wiggling, screaming when I touched it and negotiation talks between you and the tooth fairy. I think you will make a fine lawyer or UN Ambassador one day. Your powers of negotiation and persuasion are fierce to say the least. But now I know where my mistake was, I told you so. Now I have sentenced myself to a life of closing arguments, labor talks and high stakes negotiations for every event in our daily lives. For example, when I told you it was time for bed, your rebuttal (there is always a rebuttal) consisted of "why don't you have to go to bed", "why do you get to make the rules", "why don't I get to be in charge of my life". While these are all valid concerns and questions, there is really only one good response to this. BECAUSE! Because I am the mom, because I said so and because this is not a democracy. So just do what I said.
Love Mommy
I am so glad that you have finally lost a tooth. I am not sure how many more weeks I could take of the wiggling, screaming when I touched it and negotiation talks between you and the tooth fairy. I think you will make a fine lawyer or UN Ambassador one day. Your powers of negotiation and persuasion are fierce to say the least. But now I know where my mistake was, I told you so. Now I have sentenced myself to a life of closing arguments, labor talks and high stakes negotiations for every event in our daily lives. For example, when I told you it was time for bed, your rebuttal (there is always a rebuttal) consisted of "why don't you have to go to bed", "why do you get to make the rules", "why don't I get to be in charge of my life". While these are all valid concerns and questions, there is really only one good response to this. BECAUSE! Because I am the mom, because I said so and because this is not a democracy. So just do what I said.
Love Mommy
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