I promise it won't fall off

Dear Sons,

I want to make a promise to you, it will not fall off. You do not need to hold it the whole time you watch TV, nobody is going to come out of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and take it away. You don't need to keep a firm grip on it while we walk through Target, it will stay put. Find something else to do in the car, read, color something, anything but please leave it alone.

While we are on the subject, a few reminders. It is not a sword, you do not use it to sword fight your brother before bath time. It is not a train, you do not need to run around screaming choo choo every time you get naked.

When you are in your rooms at night feel free to check on it's' well being at any point. But not at the dinner table, while you are playing baseball or at the pool.

I understand from your father that this is standard behavior with boys and something I will have to deal with throughout your tenure in our home.

But please, for the sake of your mommy's sanity, please, please, please, don't do it in front of me.

With love,
Mommy

Man is he going to be pi#@ed when he finds out

I started a blog. My husband is a very private person and will not at all amused by my making our life public. As I am trying to figure out the best time to tell him, I guess I will do it at the same time I break all the other news or ask for something a little off the wall. Really do I need to tell you when that is? If I do you are really missing the boat on this one.

So this morning in the car my 4 year old tells me "I am so glad I have a young pretty mommy and not a big fat smelly mommy". No pressure there. So after I dropped him off I began to think about how our children see us. I would never think that a child would see their Mommy as anything other then a replica of the Madonna with a golden halo, angels singing and light from heaven surrounding them at all times. But my 6 year old has broken this image for me when he said " you are a little of a big butt mommy."

Really! My butt looks like this because of you, your brother and sister, if the size of my butt is that important then I will be using his college fund to get it fixed. That'll teach him, or me when he doesn't go to college and ends up living in my basement at 25 wearing the same ratty smelly Metallica shirt that he has had since he was 16. Hmmmm maybe I will just do some extra squats.