Friday, August 14, 2009

If you give a mom a vacation

An homage to our favorite series If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

If you give a mom a vacation she may pack a bag (quickly). When she packs her bag she may see worried looks on the faces of her children (how will we eat, will we have clean clothes). When she sees worried looks she may pack faster and assure them their father will take good care if them.

When mom arrives at her destination (some place warm with adult drinks and no kids) she may receive a text from her husband. If she receives a text she may have visions. If she has visions they may include dishes piled up, laundry falling out of the laundry room, children in the same pajama's she left them in.

Then she will begin to pack to go home. If she packs to go home, the stress level may begin to rise. If the stress begins to rise, mom may become cranky (again). If mom becomes cranky (again), dad may suggest a few day's away by herself to recoup. If she takes a few day's away to recoup....well you know what will happen.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Really Will I Ever Learn?????

After 3 children you would think I would learn. But no, today I hear my sweet baby M wake up from her nap. Playing, singing and hanging out in her bed. Then I hear the cry, the loud cry. I go into her room and there is baby M pointing at her hand. pooh, pooh, pooh. It is covered in poop. Yes, I put a child down for a nap in a diaper, just a diaper. It was not just her hand, her legs, the crib, 2 big lumps of poop and the crib covered in poop. Her sheet is soaking wet.

Leading me to wonder how long she has been like this. So 30 minutes before I have to pick my oldest up from camp, I now have to wipe up the baby (no time for a bath) clean up the poop, start laundry, get #2 up from his nap, pack a snack (for the love of ___ if I picked up from camp without a snack) and get to pickup.

I know better, this happened with another one of my children. I am suffering from mommy amnesia. I think we all have it. There are actually studies that show the brain cells lost during pregnancy are never recovered. That is really the main reason we are not having anymore kids. My husband is worried he will be married to a vegetable if we do. Then what would happen? Who would do the laundry, make all the appointments, clean, cook, shop, wipe boo boo's, take out the trash, make beds.....hmmm wait a minute, another baby is not such a bad idea.

No, this is not a Democracy

Dear B,

I am so glad that you have finally lost a tooth. I am not sure how many more weeks I could take of the wiggling, screaming when I touched it and negotiation talks between you and the tooth fairy. I think you will make a fine lawyer or UN Ambassador one day. Your powers of negotiation and persuasion are fierce to say the least. But now I know where my mistake was, I told you so. Now I have sentenced myself to a life of closing arguments, labor talks and high stakes negotiations for every event in our daily lives. For example, when I told you it was time for bed, your rebuttal (there is always a rebuttal) consisted of "why don't you have to go to bed", "why do you get to make the rules", "why don't I get to be in charge of my life". While these are all valid concerns and questions, there is really only one good response to this. BECAUSE! Because I am the mom, because I said so and because this is not a democracy. So just do what I said.

Love Mommy