A list of reminders

Darling Children,

A few reminders:

1. Please lift BOTH seats when you need to pee (boy's only)

2. Please face forward the ENTIRE time you pee including the shakedown (again boy's)

3. The lid does not have to be slammed in order for it to close

4. I am not a waitress, maid, short order cook or royal butt wiper

5. I am not a tree for climbing (girl)

6. I am not your main mode of transportation around your kingdom (Princess Carrymealot)

7. Yes, I am 38 and yes I can read and yes if you speak to me like that again 7 is a far off dream for you

8. Go ask your Father

9. Whining will get you nothing but a swift kick in the butt and a one way ticket to your room

10. Yes that's what's for dinner and no, I don't care if you starve, hate it or will throw up if you eat it

and the most important reminder of all, someday when you are grown and I am living someplace warm, drinking cocktails and you call me because your child, pee's on the floor, won't eat dinner, wants to be carried all the time or won't let you pee with the door shut, I will say "yes dear, I have Mahjong with the ladies call you later"

I love you,
Mommy