Sunday, March 21, 2010
My Dirty Laundry for today!!
I am sure I am not the only woman who suffers from this disorder. I do however think I may have an extreme case. I am not a big girl, I would not however call myself tiny or skinny by any stretch. I think I am probably just plain ole' average. I could lose 5 (10) pounds but really am not willing to give up the ice cream to maintain it. I could run a little more often, I could do a few (lot) more sit ups but I don't. I maintain just where I am.
The funny thing is, I am thinner after having 3 kids then at any other point in my life including High School.
But still when my friends tell me I look skinny, tell me I have lost a lot of weight I cringe.
I think I live in a world of fun house mirrors
My husband tells me I have body dimorphic disorder. I totally thought he made it up but it is a real thing! I am not sure that I meet the clinical definition but I may be borderline.
Some scientist have determined that everyone has a set point . Not all scientist agree with this theory but it makes sense to me. I can get down to the teens but I can never maintain it for long.
Maybe it's just because I am not one of those girls who wants to give up carbs, cheese, meat, sugar, diet soda or any of the other things that I love. I love to eat, I don't just eat to fuel my body, I enjoy food that taste good, I enjoy an Oreo when I have had a shitty day and you all know they will have to pry my wine from my cold dead hands.
I am at a healthy weight, I have a good BMI, my doctor has no worries about the weight I maintain. I am the one who is hard on me about it. I envy my friends who can eat anything and stay tiny tiny, I envy my friends who can avoid the foods that I can't (because I would be an evil chick without the oooey gooey goodness of cheese in my life).
I turn a big age next year that ends in a 0 and does not start with a 3 anymore. So I am going to try and give myself a gift (early) the gift of body acceptance for my Birthday. As long as I am healthy, I will (try) no longer try and force myself into a size I just was never meant to be.
I think we should all give ourselves this gift. If you are at a weight that does not impact your health but maybe is not the weight you dream of, find a new dream, love the weight you are.
Go forth and eat your ice cream!
Posted by Crazed Mama at 4:44 PM