My Dirty Laundry for today!!
I am sure I am not the only woman who suffers from this disorder. I do however think I may have an extreme case. I am not a big girl, I would not however call myself tiny or skinny by any stretch. I think I am probably just plain ole' average. I could lose 5 (10) pounds but really am not willing to give up the ice cream to maintain it. I could run a little more often, I could do a few (lot) more sit ups but I don't. I maintain just where I am.
The funny thing is, I am thinner after having 3 kids then at any other point in my life including High School.
But still when my friends tell me I look skinny, tell me I have lost a lot of weight I cringe.
I think I live in a world of fun house mirrors
My husband tells me I have body dimorphic disorder. I totally thought he made it up but it is a real thing! I am not sure that I meet the clinical definition but I may be borderline.
Some scientist have determined that everyone has a set point . Not all scientist agree with this theory but it makes sense to me. I can get down to the teens but I can never maintain it for long.
Maybe it's just because I am not one of those girls who wants to give up carbs, cheese, meat, sugar, diet soda or any of the other things that I love. I love to eat, I don't just eat to fuel my body, I enjoy food that taste good, I enjoy an Oreo when I have had a shitty day and you all know they will have to pry my wine from my cold dead hands.
I am at a healthy weight, I have a good BMI, my doctor has no worries about the weight I maintain. I am the one who is hard on me about it. I envy my friends who can eat anything and stay tiny tiny, I envy my friends who can avoid the foods that I can't (because I would be an evil chick without the oooey gooey goodness of cheese in my life).
I turn a big age next year that ends in a 0 and does not start with a 3 anymore. So I am going to try and give myself a gift (early) the gift of body acceptance for my Birthday. As long as I am healthy, I will (try) no longer try and force myself into a size I just was never meant to be.
I think we should all give ourselves this gift. If you are at a weight that does not impact your health but maybe is not the weight you dream of, find a new dream, love the weight you are.
Go forth and eat your ice cream!
9 comments:
You know what really stinks, I am the heaviest I have ever been, but I always have felt fat (doesn't help that my sister and mother have never ever weighed in three digits), and now I look back at how skinny I actually was, and I regret thinking I looked heavy and not feeling as good about myself as I should have!
How's this? If my knees were skinny, I'd have a better body image...I've considered plastic surgery on them (briefly, not seriously).
This line? "they will have to pry my wine from my cold dead hands." You rock!!!
I think I have that too!! I get mad at myself for not being tall and skinny, buy I too just dont care ENOUGH to give up the foods I love. i have gotten down to itty bitty many times but I always seem t get right back where I am now, Ive accepted it and moving on! I think there are more important things than fitting in... (my size 3 jeans) haha!
Mmmm, ice cream....
I totally have this. I complain about my weight, but no one else sees it. I know I'm not "fat", but I see the imperfects and magnify them.
I say everyday I am going to start South Beach Diet, only to lose the battle and eat the things I love. I am probably a size 6 but after three kids, I feel and look huge! As far as ice cream, OMG we had some tonight and it was so delicious...so I can't give it up even to try to be a size 4..
Great post! And good for you!
My mom once pointed out that I will never look better than I do today...that someday I will look back at pictures and think - what was my problem. I looked great.
Your next birthday is the perfect time to let body image go and just ENJOY life - and eat your cake too!
I struggle with being hard on myself too! It just seems like every time I get somewhat satisfied with the way I look, I find an old photo from my bridal shower and it makes my self esteem go right in the gutter. In fact, I started a new cleanse today! We'll see where it goes...
Yep, over here too. I will never be happy with my body. I've decided it's a losing battle I can not win.
We are twins. No joke. I could have written this post exactly the same except I turn that horrid age next month. If you tell anyone I will kill you.
Oh, one other difference. I only have two kids. But other than that....we are in perfect sync.
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