Reading my magazines, in the quite of my room as I watch some wonderful docudrama like Teen Mom or Toddler's and Tiara's, I have come to the shocking realazation that the magazine's I read are no longer about 25 way's to meet a man, hot horoscopes, sextini's or this season's micro bikini. They are filled with way's to flatten my belly, make dinner in one pot in under 10 minutes, how to make my hair look fuller, my lips fuller and my hips and butt less full. I now read about 50 medical tests I need before I turn 40 (yikes soon).
As I go through the day I notice all of my products from my moisturizer to my body wash include some promise of the following, age defying, age reversal, age diminishing, wrinkle control, maximum, minimize, soften, silken.
Sigh, I have entered a new demographic, I am no longer the Cosmo girl, I am the Cosmo girl's older, mature sister. The one telling her "you will never meet a man to marry if you don't stop sleeping with every guy you meet at the bar". "Are you sure he has a job". The one looking on with some envy, "you slept till noon, had brunch, sex and went back to sleep"
I am now the demographic that get's exicited about the Shark Steam Mop that is a gift when you purchase their new never lose suction vacume (which I am DYING to buy, I watch the informerical with all the revel that I used to watch Real World) and then fall over Batman, Superman and 3 baby dolls trying to get to the phone when they knock off one more payment!
The thrill of this steam mop and vacuum is something that should embarrass me, but it doesn't. It doesn't because the minute I mention this mop to any of my friends, they get the same glow on their face and the excitement builds in their voices too. The discussion over this mop rivals a Sunday morning bloody mary while rehashing last night's walk of shame.
While we are on the topic of suction, I am also in demographic that want's suction but only if it involves suctioning fat from a part of our body. We are all looking to lift, reduce, smooth and just make it go away.
Jealous of the younger set, you may think so but I am not. Here is why, I no longer have to wear matching bra's and panties if I don't want to, I can sleep in an old t-shirt, not shave my legs every day (or even shower).
I don't have to wonder if he will call, if he likes me, if he is thinking of me, if he is going to ask me out or dump me. I can go to bed at 8:30 on a Friday and not be a loser or lame.
I have the confidence that I wish I had had when I was 20, 25 and yes even 30. I don't have to worry about speaking my mind and being concerned what someone will think say or care. I have entered the demographic of peace, of self confidence. The demographic of being grateful for the wonderful man I have married, the beautiful (plotting) children I have and the generous, kind fabulous women who allow me to call them my friends.
So if this is what 40 is going to bring, I say bring it on! I will slap on the cream, do the sit ups, make 10 minute meals in one pot and love every minute of it (now I may be singing another tune next year when I am really facing 40, from almost 39, it doesn't look to bad).
And if anyone is looking for a really great birthday present for me. I have posted a picture of "my lover" (as Carrie Bradshaw would say) below. I dare you to not get excited about it!
The object of my affection
4 comments:
OMG, I want one of those!
Her'e sto maturity! :)
I have the steam mop, it's fantastic;)
Ooooh...the Shark...don't have to wear matching undies for that! God, when *was* the last time I shaved my legs??? BTW...love Teen Mom!
Yep, my life has come to coveting cleaning products as well. *sigh*
Remember when we'd spend Friday evenings at Happy Hour????
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