Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Fire Brimstone and Walmart

Disclaimer...I am going to say somethings about someone's personal religious beliefs. If you are in anyway sensitive or will be offended about this topic do not read on. I respect the fact that everyone has their own faith and I generally do not feel compelled to share my own opinion on this topic but today was to crazy not to.

Earlier this week I was contacted my a casting agent through my Macaroni Kid site about shooting a Walmart commercial in my town. After I checked her out and made sure she wasn't some crazy female serial killer, I agreed to audition and took along some of my friends to also try out.  After we wait around for an hour and 2 of my friends bail on me because of sleepy kiddos, the casting director finally meets with us.

Lovely Hollywood lady who's first words to me are " I have a 7 year old and a 2 month and I'm nursing, my boobs are killing me" as she is grabbing her boobs.....Ummm, nice to meet you??

I get my 5 minutes of fame, she takes my pictures grills me and asks me a million questions about why I shop at Walmart (which I had to friggin make up cuzzzz I'm a Target girl)

I have time before I have to get baby girl, need snack for boy 1's class for tomorrow so I run into Walmart to get it. That store is a black hole. After I filled my cart with a bunch of shit I didn't need  everything I had been looking for, I go to get in line

DISCLAIMER #2!!! I am getting ready to be potentially offensive  to someone who may be of strong religious beliefs last chance to turn back......

OK Don't say I didn't warn you

I get in line as the cashier rings me up the following conservation takes place for brevity I will call her Joan

Joan "Good Morning, are you having a good day"
Me "Yes, are you"
Me" I think any day you get is a good day"
Joan" I don't know I sometimes think what's waiting for me is better"
(me to myself who never listens to me, shut up shut up just smile just smile)
Joan" I know people look at me like I'm crazy when I say that but I can't wait to get to heaven"
Me "Heaven?"
Joan "Yes aren't you looking forward to hevan"
Me " Well, I think everyone has to decide what works for them and believe what they feel is right, in the end we really don't know who's belief's will be right so we just have to respect each person's choices"
(me to self AGAIN shut up get your shit and leave, she is the slowest ringer EVER)
Joan " Well everyone belives in heaven"
Me "Well, I'm Jewish and we believe that you live your best life here on earth and not for what may come in the afterlife"
(Here it come's you have one more chance to stop reading)

Joan " OH!, my daughter is a Messianic Jew "
Me "oh"
Joan " you know I have learned so much about Jewish people, like now I know that Jew's do believe in G-d and that they believe Jesus was a prophet who will rise again"
Me" Well actually Jews for Jesus are not Jews, they are Christians who have adopted Jewish traditions and holiday's but actual Jews do not believe in Jesus, we don't believe that Jesus will rise again"
Joan" You don't?? Well then who do you believe the Messiah is?"
Me "Well no one knows, there are some clues about the Messiah in the Torah but we don't have someone already picked out"
Joan(looking at me preplexed) "So you don't believe Jesus is G-d or that he will rise again?"
Me "No, that is one of the way's that Jews and Christians are different and why if you are a Jew for Jesus you are really a Christian who celebrates Jewish holiday's and adopted Jewish customs but you are not Jewish"
Joan" Well the what do you call him? Rabbi at their church is Jewish and was born Jewish"
Me " Well he may have been born Jewish but if he believes Jesus is the Messiah, he is Christian"
Joan" Oh, well, I hope you have a good day"
Me "Thanks you too"

As I turn to leave the store, I see that the woman behind me in line and her little girl are staring at me, I smile and see that the little girl has a huge paper cross around her neck with Jesus in huge letters. I get my crap and high tail it out of there.....

And to top my damm day off, the casting agent sends me an email tonight to tell me they have scrapped the project.


Tricia said...

ok 1) I am so proud of you for not telling her to stick it in her ear!! 2) I think you did awesome! oh and 3) the lady and pantyhose from my blog today was a Jehovahs witness who told me that I need to join their religion or I am risking sending myself and children to Hell. Funny. I am not concerned and she walked away with her panties showing.. game set match

Babes Mami said...

I. Loved. It.

Rebecca said...

OMG...I had to spend some not-so-quality time at MoronMart today and I couldn't have been paid enough money to make up reasons for shopping there! As far as checking out? I go out of my way to find the line where the checker is least likely to strike up a conversation, avoid eye contact, and grunt obnoxiously if anything goes too far.

Danifred said...

They scrapped the projects because clearly, the store is employed by idiots.

3boyzrenough said...

1 - This is my first blog/response EVER!!
2 - You were right. If more people respected others we would have a much better world for our children.
3 - I really hate Wal-mart.
4 - thanks for the laughs..

tina said...

O.K. I truly think they go out of their way to hire the most stupid people on the planet. That's one reason why I'm a Target girl too. Good job trying to set her straight. I'm sure she called her daughter who told her that everything you said was wrong. Ignorant people.

Cara Mamma said...

you are awesome! What a day! And holy religious school lesson. You should have recorded it! :)

MrsPatterson said...

I'm pretty religious but I'm not offended at all. I think you did awesome, I can never say what I want to say in the moment! I end up nodding in agreement (even if I don't agree) and then I kick myself and go over what I should have said for an entire week after.

Crazed Mama said...

Thanks you all, it has been good to hear other's perspectives! xoxo

Crazed Mama said...

3boyzrenough, I am so honored that you were so moved to make your first blog post EVAH by something I said! Thank you so much~

Stepping On Cheerios said...

I'm a Target girl too! I find the weirdest people on the planet seem to work and shop at Wal-Mart!

Kelly said...

Hey - you probably taught her something today she'd otherwise go her whole life without knowing. Count that as a good deed!

Also, this reminds me of when my friend Sally was being hit on HARD by a guy who was wearing a big crucifix on his neck. He wouldn't take no for an answer, so finally she said, "So, are you Christian?" and he responded affirmatively. She said, "I'm Jewish and I don't believe in Jesus. Like, nothing about Jesus. At all." The guy totally left her alone after that. We thought it was hilarious. (She really is Jewish, just in case it seemed she was using Judaism just because).

Lydia B. said...

Ahh... Walmart. The best place ever. I love me some Jesus but I also spent 10 years celebrating the High Holy Days because my step-dad was a Jewish. So I love me some Torah and I am still bitter that I never got a Bat Mitzvah. And just so you know, I was not offended at all. Except by what a jackhole the "Jews for Jesus" lady was. I mean COME ON. Are you kidding? You deserve the Nobel Peace Prize for Awesomeness and The Lydia Coupon Award for Restraint - because that b*tch needed to get slapped with a sandwich.
You rule.
xo, Lydia

Rebekah @ Mom-In-A-Million said...

I'm late to this party but WOW! You should be second in command to the Secretary of State because you have MAD Diplomatic Skillz. I probably would have just blinked rapidly at her when she first brought up heaven or maybe started singing that old Oak Ridge Boys song where the chorus goes "Do they have Mogen David in heaven, cause if they don't who the hell wants to go?" And that is why I will never be Ambassador to Anyplace.