I'm so bitchin'

I was asked to write a post for www.newparent.com

Carzy people wanted to hear what I have to say about raising kids, which is funny as crap if you have been reading my blog. I have no control here. But what the hell! I did it any way so go check it out.
xoxo

http://www.newparent.com/baby/parenting-101-featured/the-terrible-threes/

Where do I belong?

I had a really interesting interaction yesterday that left me a little baffled. I am still not sure if I should be offend or not.

As I am dragging my boys into the bookstore looking like the are fresh from dirty clothes pile after school, I run into a mom I know and like, she is really lovely. She asked me what we were doing, I explained we were just grabbing some books, the boys were off to camp this weekend. The conservation goes on as follows (my responses are in red)

" Where are they going camping"

"Blank Camp up near Blankville NC" 

"Are you going?"

"No, I'm not much of a camper" 

(Shocked) "Really? You look like a camper to me"

Really, I look like a camper?? WTF does that mean?

Now I was not looking my finest yesterday when I ran into her with her cutie little figure and big LV bag. I was really unsure how to take that comment. I was confused because I am sure she did not mean it in a rude way (I think) but I was offended. As hard as I tried to not be offended I was.

Maybe she mean I look like a camper in a Daisy Duke sorta way?

A tree hugger way 

or in a " I am woman hear me roar" kinda way 

googleimages

Perception is really interesting. It really got me thinking about how we view ourselves vs how others view us. I would never have thought I give off a camping vibe, but I guess to some I do. I called a girlfriend about it because I was still trying to process if I was offended. As any good friend would do, she assured me it is because I look so fit and healthy (which is total crap but that is why she's my friend)

As we talked more she shared with me her perception of me before she knew me. She said she thought I was well put together, well to do and a little intimidating.

How crazy is that! Also a vibe I would never have thought I put out and completely opposite of my camping vibe.

How do I see myself? What vibe do I think I put out? Not either of those.  It's like when you think you look one way and you see a picture of yourself and you think..really I look like that? That's not how I think I look.

I wonder how many of my perceptions about other people that I know are incorrect? Maybe some are right. Maybe I lay really do lie some place in between camping chick and Bloomies girl

maybe I am

Zsa Zsa Gabor, a city girl trapped in the country.

Daily dose of judgement

brought to you by your family friendly blogger....ME!

First to all my new followers, thank you I love you and your check is in the mail. To all my followers who have been with me, thank you for not breaking up with me. I have had some nasty computer issues. It really means a lot that you didn't walk out on me like Levi did Bristol. I would make a really crappy poster child for abstainance.

Now that I am back on the horse, what better way then for me to pass judgement on other's.

I enjoy my adult beverages as much as the next momma. I also understand that some day's the hour of the first pour cannot come soon enough. This afternoon, I think the hour came too soon for some.

For future reference....the bus stop is too early. While my kiddos make me crazy, I am relatively calm while they are at school and do not feel my overwhelming urge to devour a bottle of wine like a box of cookies until 5:30 (5 is someone has been home sick).

Today, I passed 2 yes 2 mommas sitting in their chairs at the bus stop each with a beer. It was 3:15. At least try and hide the beer in a Diet Coke can.

As many of you know, I generally try to not judge other moms.  I feel very strongly that we all play on the same team and should support each other. I also enjoy a cold beer at 3:15, in the summer when we are at the beach and my husband can help parent.

So today I pass judgement....do not drink beer at the bus stop at 3:15 it just screams "my kids will be watching TV all night because I will be passed out by 7"

Tonight, I declare my blog a judgement zone.....go ahead....judge away....get it off your chest...then have a beer

10 Things I hate about you

You know who you are....you take away the few precious seconds I have to run into the market, you made me lose my prime parking spot and you made me miss the light.

10. You are so busy texting you don't notice the light has changed until 2 seconds before it turns yellow

9. You are trying to reach over into the passenger seat to do Lord knows what and swerve into my lane

8. No matter how much mascara and lipstick you put on, a pig is still a pig, so just drive the car

7. You block the parking lot waiting for some chick to load 80 bags of groceries into her car because your to lazy to walk

6.You don't seem to understand that the lines are to park in between, not on or over.

5.You park so friggin close to me I need liposuction to get into my car

4. You pull up next to your buddy and chat. Blocking the road, carpool or the parking lot

3. Your so busy handing out snacks, yelling at your kids or trying to keep your baby awake so she'll nap at home that you drive like a fool (Oh wait that's me, scratch that one)

2. You take up 8 spots because your car was made in Germany

1. STOP backing into to spots! It takes longer to back into a spot then it would take you to back out. You make me growly all you backerinners.

Please take this time to adjust your driving to accommodate me K!

Thanks Love Ya!

I am a junkie

for reality TV. I must admit I am a bit of a junkie and will watch just about any shit I can find on TV that gives me a peak into the lives of other people.

The real TV crack for me.....

 I cannot stop watching these chicks. Secretly I wish I could be in their club. I can get some big hair. I used to get some good height back in the day with my Aqua Net and Clicker. (for those of you who were born in the 80's here's your visual aid)

Their lives are so surreal and yet unbelievably filled with the same daily struggles I have. Child care, house chores, cooking, attending to my husbands every whim, friends, shopping and making really difficult decisions like where to lunch and which pair of Jimmy Choo's I should wear to the gala at my sister in laws who's husband is not a made man's house on Sunday.

 For those of you who don't watch

What's wrong with you????

If you need a summary of last season here is what you need to know: Danielle was a druggie stripper who was arrested and her ex wrote a book all about it. The other ladies got wind of it and well, they did what any good friend would do. They told everyone they know and had a good laugh about it behind her back. Which ended in a pregnant Teresa throwing a table over in the middle of dinner while screaming at Danielle.

This season just started and is going to be another season filled with high drama, the kind that will win these ladies an Emmy for sure. How can it miss when in the first show of season 2, the ever eloquent Teresa describes her nemesis Danielle the following way " She puts the cont in contradiction, BIATCH " Now that is quality TV.

I love you girls, I don't care what anyone else says. You are classy with a capital C. See ya Tuesday ladies with a big class of Arbor Mist. 

On this Mother's Day, I want you to

think about another mama I just found out about yesterday. Usually my blog is filled with all the piss and vinegar I can muster but today I take a serious tone. 


The blogging community is a strange place, we don't KNOW each other but we all know each other and start to care about other people's stories. 


I want to share the story of a fellow blogger, Momma's Pixie Dreams. She is the mother to 3 beautiful girls, her youngest at the tender age of 16 months was diagnosed this week with neuroblastoma.


Her sweet baby is about to undergo a nightmare, something no family should have to go through. 









So on this Mother's Day, hug your babies a little tighter, and find a way to support this mama and her family. You can do something as simple as visit her blog, become a follower and tell her you are thinking of her or you can make a donation (info to come). 

Please visit Ian at The Daily Dose of Reality for more information and Momma's Pixie Dreams to share your support and love. Really at the end of the day, we are all parents and when another child hurts it is as painful as if it is our own. What a wonderful opportunity you have to step outside of yourself and support another mommy. 


Happy Mother's Day 
xoxo

Love it when someone else does the cooking!

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Freschetta. All opinions are 100% mine.

Freschetta FlatBread



A couple of weeks ago, I was contacted with the following email

Would you like us to send you some coupons for Freschetta's new Flatbread Pizzas so you can try them out and let your readers know what you think.

Ummmm OK! My family eats a lot of pizza (hangs head in shame) it is fast, everyone will eat it, I make a salad with it and I have dinner ready fast. Which is a major issue here with 2 boy's playing on 2 different baseball teams.

My family tried 2 different pizzas. We had the Freschetta Flatbread Zesty Italian and the Roasted Garlic and Spinach.  I don't eat much meat so I am always happy to find a yummy vegetarian pizza.  The pizza's looked good right out of the box, there were plenty of toppings, the best part, they cooked in 7 minutes! Love that!

My kids and husband liked the Italian, my son had never had salami on a pizza and was a big fan.  The garlic and spinach was yummy, and the crust was nice and crisp.

With a salad, these made a good fast meal for our family that I felt good about serving.

Give em a try! Dinner in 7 minutes is a mama's dream!

They have 4 varieties and you can get a $1 off coupon right here

I will be in the Parenting Hall of Fame

Baby girl is really buggin the fudge outta me to get her clothes for baby dolls. I refuse to spend $10 on a doll outfit at Target, I can get myself clothes at Target for less then that.

Today I devise the perfect plan...a $5 Barbie and 2 outfits still less then 1 doll outfit. Brilliant. I pat myself on the back the whole way home,

Middle boy immediately takes to playing with the Barbie which I am cool with. He goes to take off her swimsuit to put on her dress. I say "leave it on, it can be like her underclothes"

Middle boy's response "Yay and this can cover her big nipples like yours does"


Now I am not feeling so brilliant because I have now bought my boy's their first sex toy. Why why why did I not think this through....2 boy's, doll with huge boobs and correct anatomy.
Barbie is going back. I am spending the damm $10 on doll clothes.

Really this parenting thing requires you to really think about things in a whole different way.....

CSI Crazyville

I have always thought baby girl was a little to good to be true. She was a sweet baby, an easy going toddler (usually) and now to her list of attributes I can add criminal mastermind. She poisoned one of her dolls (and almost herself but more on that later)

I left baby girl to her own devices while I went upstairs to do the laundry. It was quiet downstairs......too quiet. When I got down stairs I found that she had attempted to drown one of her dolls in the dog's water bowl and poison her with a box of Arm and Hammer Carpet Care. She claimed she was just "give her bafh".

I discovered that while she was "give her bafh", she also decided to eat the dog food and suck on a wash rag dipped in the dog water carpet cleaner bowl of poison.

You will be happy to know poison control said Arm and Hammer Carpet Cleaner is not poisonous

 Here are the crime scene photo's